I've never really done this before.
It'd be simpler if there was paperwork involved, but there isn't.
Consider yourself disowned, Alexandria.
That'll do.
19.3.14
18.3.14
SCARRING
Well, here's what Alya had to say, what Incognito had to say and what Kelevra had to say.
So as y'all know I had to go after a shitstirrer. I don't know where Lovett got the idea that I dealt with the Archangel for it, since I've never dealt with the Archangel, the only source I think he could have got that from is his ass. That's where a lot of people get their "facts" about me from, oh how little they know.
So. Dimir. He is the Oracle for the Moscow area and top of the proxy ladder in Russia. He sent me a video, same one he sent Incognito. Now I know why – he was hoping we’d destroy each other. Hell, we nearly did.
I figured it was a trap, as I said I have dealt with Dimir before and you gotta make that shit airtight. I took weapons with me. I’m not an idiot. I was outright counting on him trying something. I didn't like how quiet the place was when I got there, to the extent where I was fucking thrilled when I saw a man with a bandana over his face sneak in through the back door. Didn't know what he was doing there at the time; he didn't look like one of Dimir's.
Me: "Who the fuck are you?"
?: "That's something I should be asking you."
If you feel the need to smokescreen yourself as well as hide your face... no, I’ll be the one asking the questions and you will be the one fucking answering them. But that wasn't the concern. When a person drops a smoke grenade, they want time and cover, they want to get moving and make plans. I had to stop that, needed to keep him still. So I just yelled at him
Me: "Packing some serious heat there, huh? So you're fucking armed to the teeth and you're hiding your face and you came in through the back. You got something to hide. So. You. Answer."
Because he couldn't see, he was going to rely on his hearing, he'd hear me, he'd attack, most importantly he would keep still and I'd have a better idea of what he was up to.
I hadn't counted on him firing at me a lot until later, but whatever, he was straightforward and I am adaptable. Gripped a table, hauled it in front of me and let that take the fire, although I did take a bullet to the hip. The smoke was started to clear. I fired at a light above his position. How did I know his position? Well I gauged it from his gunfire; between bursts it hadn't changed, so I had him down as the kind of shooter who doesn't change position between open fire. It made me assume he was an amateur.
To be honest, perfectly honest – that was a pretty dangerous assumption I regret making; a shortcoming in one area doesn't equate a shortcoming in others. I am truly humbled that—oh, god, I can't write that with a straight face. What a prick he is.
When I shot the light, it crashed down, it went out just in time for me to see it smash over his arm which he’d put up to protect his head. Hahaha, I hope it still stings, bitch. I will never forget that, you know – I will never forget that you look left, right, in front of you, behind you, but not up.
After that we were both sneaking around in the dark. I moved in a zig-zag so that he would be less likely to run into me. It makes you harder to find, and it makes you harder to attack if you are found.
I found a counter of some kind, tested its stability, liked it. Good cover, with a little stream of light that improved my vision a teeny bit. A teeny bit can be the difference between life and death, everyone knows that.
Anyway, I tried to initiate battle now I was happy with my position.
Me: "Come on motherfucker, if it was your daughter in danger, you'd do whatever it fucking took to save her."
Silence. Some mumbling. Shuffling.
Finally,
?: "I have your daughter at gunpoint! If you want me not to unload a bullet in her skull, you will show yourself right now, no tricks."
Funny how he thought I had not mentally prepared myself for Alexandria to die before I got in here. What you think I am – an idiot that doesn't know that accidents happen? I put my arm on the top of the counter to make him think I was going to jump off, to throw him off course. Our earlier skirmish proved that location wasn't his strongest point, all the more reason to exploit it.
Me: "If you're making it a me-or-her decision, go ahead and shoot her."
On his post, the man thought I was stalling. Lol. No. I just look out for myself. That man would do the same, I know you would.
I heard a gunshot. I dived out of cover and saw Alexandria's limp body on the floor, head drenched in blood.
Me: "Whatever you wanted from her, you coulda just asked me; my prices don't sting, you know. 'Course, now I gotta fucking kill you now, haven't I?"
The man kicked a weapon out of his boot, then said, before opening fire,
?: "So you're Artsyom."
Me: "The one and fuckin' only."
I opened fire too. Pretty sure I got him once or twice, but the bastard was bulletproofed. Still kept firing. My daughter was dead, what did I have to lose? Until a bullet struck her and she jolted and gasped. Not typical behaviour of fresh dead bodies – and I have been around more than enough fresh dead bodies to know that. I ceased fire immediately.
Me: "Do you have a particular reason for pretending to kill my daughter? I mean, it's not too late to just say what you want and I'll tell you the price."
It was a bad idea to stop and taunt him. He ran up and kicked my precious AK right out of my hands and put the barrel of his M16 trash right to my head, looking me dead in the face. Empty eyes, I seen a million people like that, dead and cold to the core. I have one as a daughter. Hell, I see one every day when I look in the mirror and I like what I see.
?: "You alright?!"
I knew he wasn't talking to me. That was when I realised, he was trying to protect her. Now I knew his weakness was going to be Alexandria too; if he came all this way to save her then he would surely go further.
Me: "I'll give you two options. Option one is, I leave. Peacefully. I will not disturb you unless I run into you again, better prepared. Doesn't take a genius to realize I underestimated you. Option two is, you pull the trigger. Like every instinct is telling you to. So shoot, let the noise send Alexandria even deeper into shock. By the time you dispose of my dead body, by the time that fuckwit sends in his cavalry, she'll be dead."
?: "That's why I will use a knife, rather than a gun."
He took out his knife and pulled me towards it, we struggled.
That was when it hit me. This man was Incognito. He holds a gun and stance the way the military teaches, his equipment, he was a quintessential military dog. And he hadn't hurt Alexandria. He'd cut her ropes. He was the person trying to protect her. That shocked me. She's not his family. She's not useful to him. She's not an innocent. Cold-blooded killers don't have "friends" in the traditional sense of the word. Our "friends" are merely people who give us weapons, information and money. A shallow but functional life, and that's how we like it. We sure as shit aren't going to go on a suicide mission to save the already-broken, criminal young girl.
Then a shadow jumped out a surge of light, and kicked Incognito away from me. Kelevra. Who went totally HAL 9000 on him.
Ke: "I'm afraid I can't let you do that Incogny, this is Minxie's trophy."
He looked over at me.
Ke: "I see that ear didn't grow back yet."
No shit, Sherlock. Anyway, it was pretty obvious Incognito wanted to gun him down then and there, instead he ran back to Alexandria.
Me: "That's Incognito? And people say she sees that heartless bastard as a father figure? I saw him real close up. Ain't nothing left in his eyes. Shit's barren."
Ke: "I know, that's why I chose him."
Kelevra sounded proud. Yeah, I get it if you choose Incognito as a personal weapon taster if he's a cold ass motherfucker. But as a guardian? Yeah no. I glanced at him, he'd picked her up, he simply said
In: "As for the both of you, I will kill you later."
(Wow, I'm so scared that I jumped and dropped all the fucks I was giving.)
At first I thought I was imagining it, but no, we were all looking around for the source of a beeping noise. It sure wasn't a car alarm, even if it was I like to assume everything will kill me anyway. Call me a glass half full.
Ke: "Dimir you son of a bitch... let's go Artyomka, I'll take you for a ride."
He grabbed my hand and transported me to the park in Moscow where I first encountered him.
Ke: "Had your fun, Tarzan?"
Me: "Can't believe Dimir invited all of us. He knows how to throw a party."
Ke: "Indeed, he's a tricky bastard ain't he? You know him don't you? You met him before?"
I lit my cigarette, wondered how he knew that.
Me: "Yeah, quite a while ago actually."
Ke: "I have some time on my hands for a story."
I simplified it for his little brain.
Me: "Cătălina and I, when Alexandria was born, made a deal with him. Our family would be protected as long as we no longer interfered. That's how I met Dimir."
He stared at me, closely, curiously.
Ke: "And when Cătălina left your ass, you got all greedy and decided to terminate the deal. Am I right?"
He wasn't, not completely, plus a lot of details he doesn't have. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing anything about me or Alexandria.
Ke: "I hope you do realize that I rescued you for personal reasons right? Minxie has a lot of anger pent up for you, I want her to kill you and only her. Next time, don't expect me to save you."
I'd give a fuck, but as we know, Incognito scared me so much I dropped them all.
What I told Kelevra is true.
I never told Alexandria we made a deal with Dimir – obviously, neither did Cătălina. Alya thought she was born in England, I was happy to let her think that.
Truth is, she was born in a hospital in Moscow. There were complications at birth, the results of which were looking bleak because of the medical equipment being fucked up by a delightful slender entity. But our daughter pulled through and finally we could hold her. Amazing how a child – something so delicate, can be so strong. We named her Alexandria; we loved the city and Cătălina's favourite saint was Catherine of Alexandria, one of the Great Martyrs, as she said.
Her being born in Moscow, was why Dimir was our port of call. I did not want to make the deal, I didn't trust Dimir. Still don’t. But Cătălina insisted. She was still worn out and in her hospital gown when she marched straight into the building holding Alya. Going straight for Dimir, she set our child in his arms, got down on her knees and made her request.
Don't mistake it for weakness. That woman was damn strong. Nobody just walks up to Dimir. That just ain't really a thing.
So, now Incognito hates me, yay, he can get to the back of the fucking queue if he wants to kill me.
Still, it bothers me. The realisation that this was who my own daughter chose to trust and admire in lieu of me was, for a tiny second, almost debilitating, because... what? Why? She let him near her, let him pick her up even. Whereas, if a normal person gives so much as glance in her general direction, she gets anxious, defensive, as for physical contact – forget it, no way, she'll flee or lash out. Even with me - no, especially with me.
I would have thought she would be afraid of him and his vacant dead eyes. But she wasn't, she has to have seen those eyes a lot, no, she wasn't afraid of him at all. Same goes for Kelevra. She should be afraid of them. But she isn't.
She's afraid of me.
So as y'all know I had to go after a shitstirrer. I don't know where Lovett got the idea that I dealt with the Archangel for it, since I've never dealt with the Archangel, the only source I think he could have got that from is his ass. That's where a lot of people get their "facts" about me from, oh how little they know.
So. Dimir. He is the Oracle for the Moscow area and top of the proxy ladder in Russia. He sent me a video, same one he sent Incognito. Now I know why – he was hoping we’d destroy each other. Hell, we nearly did.
I figured it was a trap, as I said I have dealt with Dimir before and you gotta make that shit airtight. I took weapons with me. I’m not an idiot. I was outright counting on him trying something. I didn't like how quiet the place was when I got there, to the extent where I was fucking thrilled when I saw a man with a bandana over his face sneak in through the back door. Didn't know what he was doing there at the time; he didn't look like one of Dimir's.
Me: "Who the fuck are you?"
?: "That's something I should be asking you."
If you feel the need to smokescreen yourself as well as hide your face... no, I’ll be the one asking the questions and you will be the one fucking answering them. But that wasn't the concern. When a person drops a smoke grenade, they want time and cover, they want to get moving and make plans. I had to stop that, needed to keep him still. So I just yelled at him
Me: "Packing some serious heat there, huh? So you're fucking armed to the teeth and you're hiding your face and you came in through the back. You got something to hide. So. You. Answer."
Because he couldn't see, he was going to rely on his hearing, he'd hear me, he'd attack, most importantly he would keep still and I'd have a better idea of what he was up to.
I hadn't counted on him firing at me a lot until later, but whatever, he was straightforward and I am adaptable. Gripped a table, hauled it in front of me and let that take the fire, although I did take a bullet to the hip. The smoke was started to clear. I fired at a light above his position. How did I know his position? Well I gauged it from his gunfire; between bursts it hadn't changed, so I had him down as the kind of shooter who doesn't change position between open fire. It made me assume he was an amateur.
To be honest, perfectly honest – that was a pretty dangerous assumption I regret making; a shortcoming in one area doesn't equate a shortcoming in others. I am truly humbled that—oh, god, I can't write that with a straight face. What a prick he is.
When I shot the light, it crashed down, it went out just in time for me to see it smash over his arm which he’d put up to protect his head. Hahaha, I hope it still stings, bitch. I will never forget that, you know – I will never forget that you look left, right, in front of you, behind you, but not up.
After that we were both sneaking around in the dark. I moved in a zig-zag so that he would be less likely to run into me. It makes you harder to find, and it makes you harder to attack if you are found.
I found a counter of some kind, tested its stability, liked it. Good cover, with a little stream of light that improved my vision a teeny bit. A teeny bit can be the difference between life and death, everyone knows that.
Anyway, I tried to initiate battle now I was happy with my position.
Me: "Come on motherfucker, if it was your daughter in danger, you'd do whatever it fucking took to save her."
Silence. Some mumbling. Shuffling.
Finally,
?: "I have your daughter at gunpoint! If you want me not to unload a bullet in her skull, you will show yourself right now, no tricks."
Funny how he thought I had not mentally prepared myself for Alexandria to die before I got in here. What you think I am – an idiot that doesn't know that accidents happen? I put my arm on the top of the counter to make him think I was going to jump off, to throw him off course. Our earlier skirmish proved that location wasn't his strongest point, all the more reason to exploit it.
Me: "If you're making it a me-or-her decision, go ahead and shoot her."
On his post, the man thought I was stalling. Lol. No. I just look out for myself. That man would do the same, I know you would.
I heard a gunshot. I dived out of cover and saw Alexandria's limp body on the floor, head drenched in blood.
Me: "Whatever you wanted from her, you coulda just asked me; my prices don't sting, you know. 'Course, now I gotta fucking kill you now, haven't I?"
The man kicked a weapon out of his boot, then said, before opening fire,
?: "So you're Artsyom."
Me: "The one and fuckin' only."
I opened fire too. Pretty sure I got him once or twice, but the bastard was bulletproofed. Still kept firing. My daughter was dead, what did I have to lose? Until a bullet struck her and she jolted and gasped. Not typical behaviour of fresh dead bodies – and I have been around more than enough fresh dead bodies to know that. I ceased fire immediately.
Me: "Do you have a particular reason for pretending to kill my daughter? I mean, it's not too late to just say what you want and I'll tell you the price."
It was a bad idea to stop and taunt him. He ran up and kicked my precious AK right out of my hands and put the barrel of his M16 trash right to my head, looking me dead in the face. Empty eyes, I seen a million people like that, dead and cold to the core. I have one as a daughter. Hell, I see one every day when I look in the mirror and I like what I see.
?: "You alright?!"
I knew he wasn't talking to me. That was when I realised, he was trying to protect her. Now I knew his weakness was going to be Alexandria too; if he came all this way to save her then he would surely go further.
Me: "I'll give you two options. Option one is, I leave. Peacefully. I will not disturb you unless I run into you again, better prepared. Doesn't take a genius to realize I underestimated you. Option two is, you pull the trigger. Like every instinct is telling you to. So shoot, let the noise send Alexandria even deeper into shock. By the time you dispose of my dead body, by the time that fuckwit sends in his cavalry, she'll be dead."
?: "That's why I will use a knife, rather than a gun."
He took out his knife and pulled me towards it, we struggled.
That was when it hit me. This man was Incognito. He holds a gun and stance the way the military teaches, his equipment, he was a quintessential military dog. And he hadn't hurt Alexandria. He'd cut her ropes. He was the person trying to protect her. That shocked me. She's not his family. She's not useful to him. She's not an innocent. Cold-blooded killers don't have "friends" in the traditional sense of the word. Our "friends" are merely people who give us weapons, information and money. A shallow but functional life, and that's how we like it. We sure as shit aren't going to go on a suicide mission to save the already-broken, criminal young girl.
Then a shadow jumped out a surge of light, and kicked Incognito away from me. Kelevra. Who went totally HAL 9000 on him.
Ke: "I'm afraid I can't let you do that Incogny, this is Minxie's trophy."
He looked over at me.
Ke: "I see that ear didn't grow back yet."
No shit, Sherlock. Anyway, it was pretty obvious Incognito wanted to gun him down then and there, instead he ran back to Alexandria.
Me: "That's Incognito? And people say she sees that heartless bastard as a father figure? I saw him real close up. Ain't nothing left in his eyes. Shit's barren."
Ke: "I know, that's why I chose him."
Kelevra sounded proud. Yeah, I get it if you choose Incognito as a personal weapon taster if he's a cold ass motherfucker. But as a guardian? Yeah no. I glanced at him, he'd picked her up, he simply said
In: "As for the both of you, I will kill you later."
(Wow, I'm so scared that I jumped and dropped all the fucks I was giving.)
At first I thought I was imagining it, but no, we were all looking around for the source of a beeping noise. It sure wasn't a car alarm, even if it was I like to assume everything will kill me anyway. Call me a glass half full.
Ke: "Dimir you son of a bitch... let's go Artyomka, I'll take you for a ride."
He grabbed my hand and transported me to the park in Moscow where I first encountered him.
Ke: "Had your fun, Tarzan?"
Me: "Can't believe Dimir invited all of us. He knows how to throw a party."
Ke: "Indeed, he's a tricky bastard ain't he? You know him don't you? You met him before?"
I lit my cigarette, wondered how he knew that.
Me: "Yeah, quite a while ago actually."
Ke: "I have some time on my hands for a story."
I simplified it for his little brain.
Me: "Cătălina and I, when Alexandria was born, made a deal with him. Our family would be protected as long as we no longer interfered. That's how I met Dimir."
He stared at me, closely, curiously.
Ke: "And when Cătălina left your ass, you got all greedy and decided to terminate the deal. Am I right?"
He wasn't, not completely, plus a lot of details he doesn't have. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing anything about me or Alexandria.
Ke: "I hope you do realize that I rescued you for personal reasons right? Minxie has a lot of anger pent up for you, I want her to kill you and only her. Next time, don't expect me to save you."
I'd give a fuck, but as we know, Incognito scared me so much I dropped them all.
What I told Kelevra is true.
I never told Alexandria we made a deal with Dimir – obviously, neither did Cătălina. Alya thought she was born in England, I was happy to let her think that.
Truth is, she was born in a hospital in Moscow. There were complications at birth, the results of which were looking bleak because of the medical equipment being fucked up by a delightful slender entity. But our daughter pulled through and finally we could hold her. Amazing how a child – something so delicate, can be so strong. We named her Alexandria; we loved the city and Cătălina's favourite saint was Catherine of Alexandria, one of the Great Martyrs, as she said.
Her being born in Moscow, was why Dimir was our port of call. I did not want to make the deal, I didn't trust Dimir. Still don’t. But Cătălina insisted. She was still worn out and in her hospital gown when she marched straight into the building holding Alya. Going straight for Dimir, she set our child in his arms, got down on her knees and made her request.
Don't mistake it for weakness. That woman was damn strong. Nobody just walks up to Dimir. That just ain't really a thing.
So, now Incognito hates me, yay, he can get to the back of the fucking queue if he wants to kill me.
Still, it bothers me. The realisation that this was who my own daughter chose to trust and admire in lieu of me was, for a tiny second, almost debilitating, because... what? Why? She let him near her, let him pick her up even. Whereas, if a normal person gives so much as glance in her general direction, she gets anxious, defensive, as for physical contact – forget it, no way, she'll flee or lash out. Even with me - no, especially with me.
I would have thought she would be afraid of him and his vacant dead eyes. But she wasn't, she has to have seen those eyes a lot, no, she wasn't afraid of him at all. Same goes for Kelevra. She should be afraid of them. But she isn't.
She's afraid of me.
7.3.14
HOSTILITIES
Gotta go deal with some shitstirrer. After all, I've done deals with him before. Wouldn't shy away now. Wonder how he feels. Maybe as shocked as I was when I saw, so many years later. But, maybe he's just in it for the shitstirring ticket. But then, that's not exactly his style. No, there's more to this. Guess I'll find out soon enough.
Either way. I shouldn't be long.
Either way. I shouldn't be long.
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